


Hold Me

by Jadesymb



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Hurt Derek, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, brief somnophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 17:23:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2858903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadesymb/pseuds/Jadesymb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek has been alone for so long.  A mysterious death puts him out in the woods, alone, and in danger.  When Stiles suddenly wanders back into his life, Derek can only hope he find the courage to change the path of his life for the better.</p><p>*****This is set a couple of years after 3A, assumes Derek never returned to Beacon Hills, and things happened a little differently for everyone.******</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladyoneill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyoneill/gifts).



> This fic was written for the Multifandom gift exchange on livejournal for ladyoneill. I hope she enjoys it and has had a wonderful holiday!  
> http://multifan-gift.livejournal.com/
> 
> See end notes for spoilers about tags and trigger warnings

There are Hunters in his woods. 

Derek has to force himself to pause, to inhale deeply to confirm, but the scent of wolfsbane they are trailing behind them betrays that they are Hunters, with a capital H. Derek suspects they are there for the same reason he’s skulking through the woods on a full moon, but feels pretty confident they’d be happy to put the blame at his feet instead of the actual culprit. 

Of course, Derek wasn’t completely innocent either. He should have worked up the fortitude to call the pack that had taken Cora in when he found the first torn up animal. Instead he’d spent a few days investigating it himself. Ultimately, he’d given in and called Cora just two days before a pair of hikers had gone missing. Derek can’t help but think that he may have prevented their deaths if he’d just asked for help earlier. 

Cora’s Emissary had managed to help track down that it was some sort of fae creature, something that sounded sort of like chupacabra. Derek had the means to kill it, and a pretty good idea where it was denned, so he really hadn’t paid much attention to what its name was. 

It was supposed to be weaker at night, so he’s been patiently waiting for the sun to go down when a familiar scent wafts on the breeze. 

Derek can’t quite place it, he knows he has smelled something like it before. It reminds him of home, of safety. It settles something in him. It's been years since he’d felt anything approaching peace, but somehow he feels that if he could just follow the scent, he would be taken care of, cherished. Derek takes one step in the direction of the scent on instinct before he ruthlessly pushes down the impulse. 

He is not worthy of peace.

Derek skirts around the trail the hunters have left, not wanting to lose track of them as he hunts down the chupacabra thing. The hunters seem to already know that the thing is denned down near the lake. He pushes his way silently through the underbrush, when the wind shifts slightly, bringing with it traces of the same scent of home from earlier, and a voice on the wind. 

Derek knows that voice. 

His body reacts, moving swiftly towards the sound before he has time to put together a proper plan. He barely manages to bring himself to a silent stop outside of small clearing, taking the time to try and piece together what's happening. 

About ten feet away, a lithe figure of a man is kneeling in the moonlight, his legs crossed, the wet of the grass leaving marks against his pants. The cadence of his voice reaches Derek’s ears, and Derek doesn’t even need to focus to confirm what his nose has been telling him: The soft, constant stream of reassurances and babble is falling from Stiles’ lips. 

“It’s going to be fine. We’ll be great friends, you’ll see. How did you even end up out here after all? This is no place for a beautiful beast like you. Let me bind you a little more, because your history of eating people does have me nervous. Not that I’m blaming you, if the stupid people hadn’t been wearing so much reptile skin I think you’d have just ignored them. Once we’ve got a good connection, we can figure this out. A little speed and healing for me, some compassion and intelligence for you. We’ll make a great pair!” 

Stiles is calmly talking to something in the bushes. Derek wants to take another minute to figure out how to react, but suddenly a man steps out of the treeline, raises a gun and fires. 

Derek barely has time to leap toward Stiles. Pain blossoms in his back as he takes the bullet that had been aimed at his friend. He wraps his arms around Stiles as he rolls them into the bushes, attempting to keep his body between Stiles and the hunter. 

“What the-,” Stiles starts before drawing in a shocked breath. “Derek?” 

“Hunters. We’ve got to go,” Derek manages to wheeze out. The bullet must have pierced his lungs. Fuck that's unpleasant. Derek struggles to get his feet underneath him as he hears the hunter moving towards them, firing again. 

Stiles slides to his feet and slips up next to Derek with a startling amount of grace. “Come on, I can hide us.” Stiles wraps an arm around Derek and tugs him quickly away. 

The hunter fires blindly, and Derek is able to shift himself so that he's mostly between Stiles and the hunter. There's no way Derek is going to let Stiles get hurt, not if there's anything he can do about. He hears Stiles mumbling something under his breath, something that sounds foreign and strange. As Stiles pulls at Derek, pain is throbbing through him, and his body simply follows Stiles down as the younger man pulls him tight against a tree. 

“Stay quiet. He’ll walk right by,” Stiles whispers as his lips brush against Derek’s ear. “Any idea if they were using Argent bullets? I’ve got the cure for that in my bag.”

“No idea,” Derek tries to reply, but he isn’t so sure he managed to get it out. Derek’s head is pounding as the wolfbane from the bullet pulses through his body. He struggles to stay alert, but everything is fuzzy, his thoughts blurring together as the outside world fades. 

He feels hands running across his chest. “Shit,” says Stiles, “this is bad. The bullet is too close to your heart. I’m gonna fix this. You stay here. Don’t go anywhere, don’t move. Stay as still as possible. I will come right back for you.” And then Stiles’ warmth is gone. 

Derek had wanted to object, to tell Stiles to stay, but his body wouldn’t follow his commands. The pain continues to throb through his body, and his eyes drift closed. Mercifully, he slides into unconsciousness. 

********

Derek feels the pain on the edge of his awareness, seeping in, washing over him, causing him to jerk violently to wakefulness, only to have the pain eb, and with it, his eyes slip closed once more. 

The cycle repeats more times than Derek can count, a weird blur of time. He’s aware of Stiles nearby, talking, asking questions, half dragging Derek. Derek knows he's managing to reply sometimes, but the words are fuzzy, nothing makes sense, and the pain seems to eclipse everything. 

There is one moment, bright with pain, and Derek is suddenly acutely aware of the danger, feels the press of his naked back against the pine needles on the forest floor. He can hear Stiles, but his words are comforting, not panicked. And then it all fades away.

It is, weirdly enough, the distinct lack of pain that causes Derek to swim towards consciousness. 

He becomes aware, firstly, of the lack of pain buzzing in his body, followed by the soft, familiar feel of sheets and bed under his body. There is warmth pressed all along his back, and the feeling of pack, of being cared for, has the wolf in Derek relaxing. He can hear soft murmuring, feel someone’s hand gently carding through his hair. 

For the first time in years, Derek feels the knot of loneliness loosen in his chest. 

Derek turns into the warmth, nestling his face into the warm body and inhaling the sweet scent that is uniquely Stiles. He just wants to be comforted, to be cared for, to make Stiles understand that he trusts him, even if he can never find the words. How, after all this time apart, Derek can still feel so strongly is a mystery to him, but Stiles has always called to him. 

He gives into his impulse and slides his hands under Stiles’ shirt, tracing the lean lines of Stiles. He feels Stiles responding, shifting his body into Derek’s, and Derek can feel the outline of Stiles’ hard cock pressing against his leg. Derek just goes with it, letting his instinct lead him, and slips down Stiles’ body. Stiles moanes encouragingly above him, and Derek pulls the superhero boxers down Stiles’ hips to reveal a jutting, cut cock, impressively long, but skinnier than Derek’s own. The smell of Stiles’ sex has Derek panting for it, and he leans in, licking tentatively at the head. Stiles whimpers as he thrusts his hips forward just a touch, and Derek leans in and swallows Stiles down, burying his nose in the curly hair of his groin. He feels Stiles slide his hand into his hair, urging him on for a second, but suddenly Stiles is pulling away, falling backward off the bed. 

“Holy shit, Derek, oh my god, what the hell!” Stiles’ voice is full of panic. “Dude, what are you doing? Since when do we molest people in their sleep?”

Derek feels like the floor is dropping out from under him, knows that he’s managed to fuck this up. 

Derek had walked away from everyone, because he couldn’t stand the idea of rejection, of being hurt, or of his presence bringing any more suffering to people he cared about. Today he’d let himself reach out a little for the first time in forever, and he’d done it to a sleeping Stiles who was going to hate him for it. 

He can’t deal anymore. It's the final straw on an already much broken werewolf, and Derek just sort of curls into himself. He can hear the broken sound that tears from his throat, even as he closes his eyes and tries to pretend he can just stop existing. 

“Derek? Are you still hurt? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Stiles sounds frantic, and Derek feels the bed sink as Stiles returns to it, his hands tentatively touching Derek’s bare skin, petting his head in a mockery of the way he’d pulled Derek in just seconds ago. Derek leans into the touch anyway, taking whatever small comfort he can get at this juncture. 

After a moment, Stiles maneuvers Derek around so he can move his hand onto the spot on his back that is still itchy with healing. “It looks good,” Stiles comments as his nimble fingers caress the freshly healed skin. 

Derek keeps his eyes downcast, not responding to Stiles. 

Stiles climbs off the bed and comes around in front of Derek. He has apparently pulled his boxers back up, and Derek can’t help but admire the way Stiles’ cock is tenting it.

“Come on Derek, answer me. Are you okay? What the hell are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere? How’d you manage to show up just in time to save my skin?” Stiles asks as he pulls away from Derek.

“Trying to prevent more death.” Derek’s voice is rough from disuse. 

“You were out looking for Izzy too? Allison’s dad told us that the closest hunters wouldn’t be able to get down here until next week. Of course, these hunters couldn’t have been too much on the up and up, if they were shooting at me without asking questions-” Stiles pauses, blushing, “Sorry! Rambling, I know. How are you?”

Derek shrugs, “Healed. Fine. Where are we?”

“One of those rent a cabin places, I knew it might take me a few days to track down Izzy, and I hate camping. I wasn’t sure where you were staying, and you were too out of it to be of much help, so I dragged you back here. Just like old times, right?” Stiles rubs the back of his head and looks down at his feet. Suddenly where Stiles had been filling up the air with words, silence stretches uncomfortably between them. Derek lets it hang for a moment, sure that Stiles will break it, but Stiles just shuffles his feet and looks uncomfortable.

“Sorry about before,” Derek blurts out, surprising even him. He tries to continue, “I didn’t realize that you weren’t...” and he trails off, unsure how to finish that sentence. 

What could he say? That you weren’t awake? That you aren’t gay? That you don’t want to touch me outside of life saving situations? 

“No dude! It’s, um, fine. I sort of thought I was dreaming? And then I was sort of shocked when I realized I wasn’t? I mean, you are super hot, and I’d, ah, well, I meant, er- Why did you...” he trails off and sort of gestures to Derek’s mouth.

Derek doesn’t know how to vocalize that he just wants to please Stiles, wants to feel like he's making someone else happy, wants to surrender into Stiles, wants to be touched, to feel precious like he hasn’t in such a long time. Instead, he tries to school his expression, and shrugs. 

“Verbose as ever, I see. Let’s get some food into you, okay? I’ve got leftovers from dinner I’ll reheat. Why don’t you go clean up?” Stiles gestures towards a door, “I put some clothes in there for you. Yours were pretty much a total loss, forest and blood and all that.”

Derek doesn’t bother to respond, just heads into the bathroom. He splashes some cold water on his face and steals some of Stiles’ toothpaste as well, listening to Stiles messing around in the tiny kitchen area of the cabin. Stiles is talking to himself, but Derek can’t make out the words, instead it’s just a comforting background hum. Want lances through him, and he finds himself shaking with need, with the idea of not being alone, even if it’s just for a little while. He needs to get a handle on himself, so he makes use of the shower.

It isn’t until he’s naked, huddled at the bottom of the shower with the hot water punishing his skin that he lets himself break down. He wraps his arms tight around his knees and lets himself sob into his knees. Huge, wrenching sobs that he feels down to his soul. He’s put up so many walls around himself over the last four years, how has a few touches from Stiles torn them all down?

Derek knows, in his heart, that he isn’t worthy of love, not anymore. He killed Paige. He punished himself by dating Kate, whose abuse felt like redemption, until he found out he was nothing more than a tool to be used to murder his entire family. He still wasn’t sure why he gave in to Jennifer, why he let himself be used again. All that he learned from that was that he can’t be trusted. That he can’t make the right choice, isn’t worth anything to anyone other than as a tool, a weapon. 

Despite all that, he can’t help but want. 

He wants soft touches and words of love, he wants a warm body and a chance to please someone, to show them that while he might be a tool, he can be used for good things, not just bad things. He wants someone to actually love him, to care for him as a person. This little freak out has only managed to remind him that the lone wolf dies, that he needs someone, even if it’s just for one night.

Eventually, the anxiety eases, and Derek realizes that no matter what choice he makes, he will regret it. In his heart, he realizes that if he wants his soul to survive, if he wants to find the strength to continue living, he’s only really got one option. He’s going to try and seduce Stiles. 

He had noticed, the three or four years ago when they were running around Beacon Hills, that Stiles was attracted to him, and he’d ignored it. If Stiles still feels that way, if he still wants Derek’s body, Derek is willing to give it to him. If he can have Stiles tonight, that will have to hold him for a few more years. Maybe this will work Stiles out of system finally, once and for all. 

Derek gathers himself and gets out of the shower. He dries off with one of the unused towels, and then wraps it around his waist, heading back out into the main room, back to Stiles. The younger man had put on a shirt and some cotton pants while Derek showered. Stiles looks up when he enters the room, and freezes, his gaze dragging up Derek from head to toe, and back again, his mouth agape. Derek can’t help but smirk at Stiles reaction to his mostly naked form. Seducing Stiles is not going to take much effort at all. Derek will get to finally have something he wants, for himself.

Stiles seems to suddenly realize he’s staring, and starts babbling, “I uh, have clothes! That I can loan you! And there’s food! For you to eat! Maybe I should just run and get you a shirt real quick...” he trails off again, his eyes roving over Derek once more before Stiles sits down at the table with a soft thump that suggests he wasn’t actually paying any attention to the action.

Derek sits down in the chair across from him and begins eating Stiles’ warmed up leftover chinese food. Stiles remains uncharacteristically silent as they both enjoy their rice and meat in sauce. Stiles' eyes keep straying onto Derek. Derek keeps his mostly on his food, but when he feels the weight of Stiles’ gaze, he looks up seductively and meets his tawny-eyed gaze until Stiles blushes and looks back down at his own plate. The seductive scent of an aroused Stiles wafts over to Derek, stronger than expected. 

Derek still isn’t sure what the right thing to say to Stiles is, but one thing he learned from Ursula as a child, is that one should never underestimate the power of body language. Derek knows how to speak volumes that way, so he waits until they’ve eaten, drained their cups, and then he takes a deep, fortifying breath, before standing up. He lets his body flow to Stiles, loose limbed, relaxed, sensual. He reaches out and turns Stiles’ chair toward him, Stiles looks confused, and he opens his mouth to speak. Derek doesn’t want that, he wants Stiles feeling, not thinking, so he reaches for his towel. He sees the words die, unspoken on Stiles’ lips as he pulls the towel away, letting it fall to the floor. 

Stiles startles a little when, after a short pause, Derek follows the towel down, kneeling in front of Stiles. Derek finds his voice, “You’re overdressed.” 

Stiles sputters and flails a bit, but Derek doesn’t let it deter him, instead reaching up and skimming his hands under Stiles’ shirt, slowly pulling it up until Stiles gets with the program, and removes the shirt himself. 

“You sure you are up for this?” Stiles finally says, “ I mean, you were just shot with wolfsbane not twelve hours ago. And you’ve, ah, not been around me for a while? I just want to make sure this is really what you want and not you feeling like you owe me for saving you or any weird crap like that...”

“I’ve wanted you for long enough that it's a little creepy,” Derek glances downward as he speaks, unable to meet Stiles eyes. 

“Hey,” Stiles' voice has gone all soft and sweet, and he reaches for Derek, cupping his face and turning it up towards him. “It's okay. You’re hot like burning, I’ve thought so since you were telling us to get off your lawn.” And then Stiles is tugging just slightly, coaxing Derek up as he leans down, and their mouths meet for the first time. Stiles is sweeter than he had ever dreamed, and he knows what he's doing as he takes control of the kiss, expertly fucking his tongue into Derek’s mouth. 

Stiles pulls back enough to whisper, “Can we take this back to bed?” into Derek’s lips. Derek nods his head, but lets Stiles take the lead, pulling Derek up from where he was kneeling and leading him back to the bed. Stiles pushes Derek back on the bed and shimmies ungracefully out of his clothes before crawling naked onto the bed next to him. 

“Hey...,” he whispers as he puts his head down by Derek.

“Hey,” Derek responds with a smile, letting his eyes roam over Stiles’ naked form. 

Stiles doesn’t meet Derek’s eyes, instead he watches his hand slowly trail over Derek’s abs. “So, I’ve sorta wanted to do this for a long time, and I really don’t want to fuck it up. So, anything you want to do? Don’t want to do? Wanna give me a heads up of things you like and don’t like?” 

Derek drops his own eyes before he speaks, “Whatever you want is fine. I’ll like it, because it’s you.” 

“Hey, no, seriously dude, like I could be into weird shit. You should not just give blanket permission.” Stiles’ voice is tinged with shock and censure. 

“Don’t call me dude,” Derek responds on reflex.

“SEE! Right there, you don’t like to be called dude in bed.”

“I don’t like to be called dude by you. I’m not some random dude,” Derek grumbles, but he can feel himself blushing a little at the admission. 

“No, Du...erek. Of course not. That wasn’t what I meant at all. Look, you don’t like the way this is going, just, tell me, okay? Don’t try to suffer through something you aren’t enjoying,” Stiles insists, so Derek nods his head. He’s starting to feel self conscience and awkward, like this conversation should have happened before they ended up naked on a bed together. Stiles seems to suddenly realize how weird it is, because he finally moves his hand up and flicks at Derek’s nipple. The sensation spikes arousal through Derek once more, and he nuzzles into Stiles’ neck. He breathes in deeply the scent of Stiles, who responds by tipping his next back in an exquisite show of submission that shoots straight to Derek’s cock. Derek groans before nipping lightly at Stiles’ neck.

“Argh. That’s so good,” Stiles moans, and Derek moves back up to kiss Stiles deeply, enjoying the way Stiles raises his hands and runs them through Derek’s hair as their lips meet. The kiss is open mouthed and dirty, and when Derek finally pulls back, Stiles is flushed, lips reddened, eyes begging for more. Derek did that, and thrill zips through him, satisfaction and his need to please coming to the surface. He can’t help but nip at Stiles’ neck one more time, before slowly kissing, licking and nipping his way down. He pauses to spend a little time suckling at Stiles’ nipples, nuzzling down his happy trail, until he finally reaches his goal. 

“Let’s see.... Where did I leave off?” he whispers, looking up Stiles’ body and meeting his tawny eyes. Stiles’ mouth is agape in anticipation, his pupils blown with lust. Derek can’t help but offer a small, sexy smirk before diving into the task at hand. He doesn’t waste anymore time teasing, can’t wait any longer to feel the weight of Stiles on his tongue. Derek wraps his lips around Stiles and takes his cock all the way in, feeling it bump against the back of his throat. 

Stiles gives a tiny, aborted thrust as he moans his pleasure. “Oh my God, Derek. That is so good. You are amazing.” 

Stiles’ praise fills Derek with elation, and he feels his own cock give a little spurt of precome. He’s never had such a visceral reaction to anyone before and Stiles just keeps talking, keeps praising Derek. 

“I can’t believe you’re here, that we’re finally doing this. You feel so perfect.” 

Derek can feel Stiles’ hands pulling lightly at his hair, and as the tiny thrusts continue, Derek knows what Stiles wants. He manages to back off a little from the blow job, lets Stiles slip from his lips just long enough to say, “You can fuck my mouth, if you want,” then he dives back down, slurping and swirling his tongue. 

“You are absolutely stunning. You make me feel better than I’ve ever felt,” Stiles says and takes Derek at his word, fucking up into Derek’s mouth. 

Derek lets himself relax into it, just enjoying knowing how much pleasure he is giving Stiles. He can smell how close Stiles is, how happy he is. Stiles’ praise is driving Derek insane, and he feels harder than he ever has been in his whole life.

“Derek, gonna, oh god, Derek,” Stiles begins, and he chants Derek’s name like a litany as he finally comes, far enough back in Derek’s throat that he almost misses the taste of Stiles. He has to pull back a little and lick the last little bit off the head of his cock. 

As soon as Stiles goes loose, spent beneath Derek, Derek surges up, kissing Stiles deeply, letting Stiles chase his own come with his tongue. He ruts against Stiles instinctively, his hard cock pressing down next to Stiles’ spent one. Stiles reaches down and gives Derek something to fuck into, and Derek is coming all over Stiles’ long fingers so fast that he’d be embarrassed if he wasn’t so fucking blissed out right now. 

“That was amazing. An A plus, would do it again,” Stiles says as Derek collapses on top of him, rubbing his come between them with his body. Derek just grunts his appreciation in return. 

Stiles wiggles, pushes and pulls Derek to lay next to him on the bed, then starts slipping away, climbing out of the bed. Derek knows he doesn’t want that, doesn’t want this to end, doesn’t want to be left alone, and he hears himself whimper as Stiles slips away. 

Stiles pauses, turns to Derek and kisses him deeply, before pulling away just a little bit to whisper, “Two seconds, just want to get us cleaned up and get you a drink. Promise, I’ll be right back, okay?” He waits for Derek to nod his affirmation before going. 

Derek isn’t really sure how long he’s gone, but he feels joyous relief when Stiles returns, a warm cloth wiping him clean. Stiles insists he sit up and sip at some room temperature water, before sliding into bed next to him and snuggling them together. 

They lay together for a while, not really sleeping, just being content with one another. Everything is frozen in time, and Derek is afraid to break the moment. When the moment breaks, Stiles will go back to his life, and Derek will go back to his small cabin. Derek will go back to his solitude, because he doesn’t know how to do anything else. 

Eventually, the silence must become too much for Stiles, because he begins to talk. “So...... Derek? Long time no see, and all that. What brought you to this part of the woods? Whatcha been up to?” 

Derek tenses at Stiles’ questions, and Stiles must feel it, because he pulls Derek into him a little more, and runs his hand comfortingly along Derek’s skin. “I heard about the deaths, the chupacabra thing? And the attacks were about 15-20 miles from my cabin, so I was hoping to take care of it before hunters showed up at my door,” he answers honestly, burying his nose in Stiles to both avoid looking at him, and to enjoy his smell a little longer. Only a little longer until Stiles would leave, and go back to his life.

“Where’s your pack? Cora?” Stiles keeps stroking, his voice even.

“Cora went back to her old pack, where she was before the Alpha Pack grabbed her. I stayed for a bit, but I just didn’t fit in. So, I moved out to this old family cabin in the woods,” Derek murmurs into Stiles' skin.

“So you’ve been an Omega for what, three years?” Stiles questions. Derek nods into Stiles skin.

“Are you okay? And do you have any plans for tomorrow or the day after?”

“No plans, why?” Derek avoids answering the first question, because he's pretty sure that he isn’t okay. But since he doesn’t know how to fix it, he just wants to go on avoiding it.

“Because it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow, and you shouldn’t be alone?” Stiles sounds like he is trying to keep his voice even, but Derek can hear the concern, the way his voice rises at the end. Before Derek can really formulate a response, Stiles continues on, “Okay. You are coming home with me. Christmas with the Stillinski’s. I was planning to leave in the morning, we can swing up to your place and get your things.” 

“I don’t want to upset your plans. I’ll be fine,” Derek huffs.

“No. Nope. No Way. We Stillinski’s are like barnacles, you can’t shake us off once we attach ourselves. Besides, I was sort of hoping you’d consider giving this a chance. Like maybe an actual date or two? I mean I’ve never tried long distance, but I’m willing to give it a shot, if you are.” 

Stiles’ words send hope zinging around in Derek’s chest. Stiles wants to date him? “I’m not good at this. At people... Relationships.” He can feel his face heating at his embarrassment. 

“Yeah? While I’ve not really managed a good relationship yet either. Maybe we can figure it out as we go along? Because you are absolutely amazing, and I sorta want to keep you.” And with that Stiles shifts, his hand finding Derek’s face and tipping it towards him, forcing Derek to meet his eyes before leaning in and giving him a soft kiss. 

The idea that Stiles might want more, might want to actually keep him, it makes something inside Derek sing. “I uh,” Derek begins, but his response is cut short by a crash from the other room.

“Shit. Izzy!” And Stiles is flailing, naked out of the bedroom. 

Derek follows swiftly behind, and when he sees what is in the living room, he moves quickly, trying to get between it and Stiles.

“No, Derek, it’s fine! It’s just Izzy. He got out of his cage, just let me calm him down.” Stiles pushes past him, kneeling in front of what looks sort of like a giant river otter with glowing eyes. 

“What the hell is that?” 

“Izzy! It’s the Ichneumon. You know, the thing that killed those people?” 

Stiles is petting it. 

He's petting the thing that ate people.

“Stiles....... maybe you should back away slowly? Get behind me?” Derek keeps his voice calm, just a hint of pleading in it.

“Nah, it’s cool. See, I’ve been working with these witches. Deaton put me in touch with them, and they’ve been training me to be useful. Deaton wanted me to be an Emissary but I was like, not digging the neutrality at all, so I said fuck it and started branching out, studying other magic and stuff. Anyway, the witches wanted me to get a familiar and I couldn’t find one, so I started doing more research and expanding, and I read about the Ichneumon, which are like, awesome familiars.” Stiles finally takes a deep breath, but he's still petting the thing in front of him, his eyes focused on it. “Well, so I located someone who had one. They have a female but they helped do this spell and said if I could find a male, we could like, breed them. So I followed the location spell to this guy.”

Derek is incredulous. “You chose a man eater as your familiar?” 

“Well, by making it my familiar, it won’t eat people. It was basically an animal. Now it’s a familiar, so it’s going to be smarter, and will mostly obey my rules. I get shit too, there is this whole magic bond thing. He was just bored, I’ve been ignoring him since I cast the spell. That’s what I had just finished doing when you showed up and saved my hide. Thank you for that! This little guy stole the hunter’s bullets out of their pockets for us! Saved your life,” Stiles finishes smugly and moves to the kitchen, beginning to prepare something.

Derek is still rooted to his spot, staring after Stiles, trying to process the other man's words. “Okay, um, I’m gonna, just, get some clothes on...” Derek gestures weakly towards the bedroom.

Stiles turns back and smiles at him as he sets a bowl on the floor for the otter thing. “Aw. I was enjoying the view. So, gonna come home with me for Christmas?”

The tone of Stiles' voice sets Derek at ease and he returns the smile, admiring the view for himself. He really does want to go home with Stiles. He wants to believe that he is still worthy of love, of trust, of happiness in his life. 

“Yeah," Derek says, feeling like he's finally getting something right, "I think I will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Derek starts giving Stiles a blow job, thinking Stiles is awake. Stiles is drifting, not quite awake, and thinks he is having a very nice dream. He is startled and seems upset when he realizes it was not a dream. However, had he been full awake, he would have consented in this story. 
> 
> Derek has major self esteem issues and self worth issues. He should seek counseling. I think Stiles will point him that direction once he realizes how deep Derek's issues are.
> 
> Should I make this a series with a sequel? Leave me comment if you would like more. Thank you so much for reading!!!!


End file.
